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[04 Feb 2010|12:19am] |
What's rewarded is repeated.
When being irresponsible is rewarded, it'll be repeated.
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[02 Feb 2010|11:03am] |
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I think I miss Daphne. We all do! :) Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| PTL :) Good good good. |
[02 Feb 2010|01:24am] |
Good lunch: Met jvn, who almost wanted to skip malay class, for lunch. (Though he kept dozing in class still)
Good day: Short yet helpful studying session with Joce and William after class.
Good start: Went for YEP interview at the eleventh hour. Whether I get in or not, I hope I'll have good takeaways from it. Be it from the bondings, canvassings etc.
Good bonding: Shoan fetched a few of us to Bugis to meet the rest for our reunion dinner. Had good chat in the car while caught in the jam, the girls were happily chatting at the back too. Glad tt I found someone who prefers merc to bmw. HAHA.
Good dinner: Need I say more? :)
Good night: Spoke to Garen, who is currently in the States, over msn. We had a short sharing with each other, and he led me to Mathew 25:14-28. He gave me some valuable advice and i hope we'll have good fellowship over the net on mons, weds, fridays. Really thankful for the wonderful plans :)
Good surprise: Amos just called me on my mobile. Apparently he said sth about the internet there being down or sth and would call me back later. Hope we'll have good sharing, provided I'm still awake after his econs class :)
Good prayer: Another need I say more?
Good night: Preparing for a new day tmr, good night world :)
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[01 Feb 2010|03:16pm] |
Are you guilty?
You should.
:)Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Yet another Wednesday |
[27 Jan 2010|04:16pm] |
Hi all. One week has passed since my last entry on my Malay classes. Once again, I'm in the huge tutorial room with the teacher at the front tutoring one student by one student on the same techniques on the same old drum, which I've seen for the 3rd time thus far (and this is my 3rd lesson).
Hitched a ride from jevan after Malay language class. Clem and Michelle were playing UNO cards in the room when I reached. For the past half an hour, I've surfed uncountable blogshops, checked my emails for umpteen times and now I'm stoning cos my phone's batt is running low. Now, the duo beside me are attempting to do their elective's tutorial while everyone aroud me are chatting away.
1 more hour to go.
Ever since I heard of the news last night, my heart flutters every now and then just at the thought of it. This is definitely not an easy path to take I swear. I needa focus on academic and future jobs prospects at the same time. Career fair tmr. Internship is very impt in order for me to grad. Praying hard man :)
Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Get Started! |
[25 Jan 2010|09:58pm] |
1. Get my spinal problem fixed.
Okay anyw it's impossible. I asked the doc today, "Can scoliosis be cured?" and got a straight "NO" at my face. Then, refusing to take 'no' as an answer (I swear I read online it could be cured by surgical methods), he replied, "I dont understand why you would want to consider going thru op where they will insert a metal rod up your spine to hold it up. And even wear back-braces to keep your spine straight, where you would not be able to even bend and it's gonna hurt very, very badly."
After that, I lost appetite for everything.
Well first, i was affected by how the treatment was. Because it equates to "No Cure".
And second, if my Cobb's angle is more than 20deg, my hopes would be dashed and dream shattered. I have never been so serious in my life, all the plannings, the readings, the preparedness I have been instilling in myself. We'll see.
I insisted on doing a thorough check-up and got myself an appointment tmr for my x-ray to be taken. Pray that all goes well.
What can I do meanwhile, to avoid it from getting worst? And it leads me to my next point:
2. Learn swimming, again. (for the 348578589387000th time) but well, FIRST time mentioning it this year ya? :D
Told my bro about it and he volunteered to find me a teacher or teach me himself. But knowing him a tad too well, I definitely am not afraid of drowning, but I would get scolded and scolded until I feel so demoralized and quit myself. HAHAHAH. ok I was exaggerating but his temper, hmm, maybe he's changed. We'll see :D
But I'm kinda grateful that he even reach out to help and not chuck this poor sister of his to one side. Kev Xian Laode have tried teaching me before, just that I couldnt depend on them for long and on regular basis. They too have their own things to do and it'll be quite unfair to keep bothering them know.
3. Be a little healthier (this point would be considered half done if point 2 were being executed successfully :))
On top of exercising (ON A REGULAR BASIS (MEANING ONCE A WEEK AT THE VERY LEAST AND NOT ONCE A YEAR THANK YOU VERY MUCH)), I needa start putting in some effort on the food intake. If you know me well enough, I tend to eat and eat without calculating anything cos I alway stick to the chinese saying which goes, "能吃是福".
I have not once thought that I am fat and need to go on diet, not cos I am skinny or what, just that I know my fats are being hidden. They dont really show on my hands, but, it's really bad la anyway.
AND I wouldnt have been so determined if not for my beloved Ah Ma, whom I have not met in prolly 2 months. She said this to me in Hokkien last night when we went for steamboat dinner, "Shuling, you pui (she used the exact word "PUI") liao ah", while grabbing my arms when I was walking her to the lift. I swear I got a mental shock of 3seconds or so before regaining my composure.
Not like no one has ever said that to me, just that the impact wasnt as great. I believe that, parallel to how pure young innocent beings behave, elderly would not sprout nonsense and would be truthful to what they see and feel. GOOD GRACIOUS ME. Now you know why. Hmm.
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| Sky high |
[22 Jan 2010|12:31am] |
One fateful day last month, Jo, Daph, Garen and I were out at Raffles City for some high tea and also a mini farewell gathering Daph and Garen, who are in US now for exchange. Then somehow, I mentioned to them about my dream. At that point in time, I was still unsure of it. I know I wanted it but a part of me, together with peer advices, was pulling me back. The thought of getting a stable job with stable income in order to live a stable life rang at the back of my head. I know it's something rational, but is it something that I want?
And they brought up to me this book and recommend me to read it since I'm interested in the field. I shared with my fellow dreamer, Sheryl, and she got the book earlier than I expected. When I wanted to get the book, she offered hers to me cos she's already finished it by then :)
And within 3 days, I finished the book. It's by a local writer, Janet Chew. I think she deserves all the positive feedbacks she got from media and fans, for being her virgin attempt, it was 2 thumbs-up for me. Full of humour and wit, I just couldnt stop reading. Now I understand why Sheryl finished the book within such short period.
I think this time, it's for real. I know I want this badly and I will do whatever it takes to live my dream. Like what D told me, it's one life, my life. If I dont live it, who will? What is the point of listening to so many stories, both persuasions and disuassions, and getting myself confused, when afterall, it's what I want, and how I want. And even if it turns out to something it's not, I know I will have absolutely nothing to regret about. Been there, done that. Make or break, it's up for me to decide, AFTER I've tasted it myself :)
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| Malay semester |
[20 Jan 2010|05:05pm] |
I'm in NIE now taking Studies in Malay Music with Clem and Michelle (Clem's friend). And I just came from my Malay Language class. I'm taking basic Malay Language level 1 with JevanH (with a h (internal joke haha!)) and Shyuan.
My Malay tutor is damn funny, talks very slowly and jokes a lot. Or rather, we laugh really a lot in class. I guess it's good :) But I find the language a little harder than Spanish.
Oh and I'm taking French level 1 with Jan. Okay kinda. We attended the first lesson together and laughed our hearts out. The French tutor was extremelyyyyyy humorous. He told us about his stories and how French live their lives (which is obviously very different from Singaporean). He was late for class on purpose as he explained, claiming that french likes to work like they're doing others a favour. You just gotta be there to experience all the fun and laughter we had. Good start to my last semester I guess :)
I just need some help for my core cos I've missed my first week for some cores. Thank God for the wonderful plannings and i'm looking forward ahead. For more to come :)
I'm actually son lesson now. The teacher is teaching us how to play the different strokes on a kompang. But he's asking the students one by one and teaching them in front of the class. I've just finished my chapter 1 notes for Clinical Trial (which I've missed) for week 1, while Clem and Michelle are watching some Korean babes on YouTube beside me. Cool course :) Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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| D&A |
[18 Jan 2010|11:27pm] |
D & A.
Bogoshipo.
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| Things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they're right. |
[16 Jan 2010|10:23pm] |
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Quote from Marilyn Monroe, read from Selina's lj. It is really very meaningful.
This short first week of school has been quite a roller-coaster ride for me, for there are extremely good, and unfortunately, extremely bad events happening. And I've been bogged down by many things in my head that cause me my headache, on top of a few nights of discomforting sleep. In short and for my own memory-sake purpose of this lj, spanish2 or french1, tuition kids, financial, farewells, emotional upheavals and reminisce, internships, skipping prayers at night... just to name a few.
On a lighter note, I thank God for service today, as I learnt a lot from it. I was actually busy typing down notes and meaningful quotes by the Pastor into my phone, so whenever there is a need, I could refer to those for enlightenment. Oh, and Eileen came for the first time and will be coming subsequently. Yay, another SPMS-ian into the Charis family and TUF-fers :)
"View life from the day of your funeral...." - Victor Frankl
The Pastor began the service with a day when he attended his old friend's funeral. And through this late friend's wife, he found out the last words from the lung cancer patient to his beloved wife were,
"Now, I am ready to go, are you ready to let me go?"
He was in his 40s or 50s.
Not of those words you see on big screened dramas these days, but of such true human touch and superhuman ability and generous acceptance and superpower readiness when he was faced with his own death on his deathbed. I was amazed by all the above mentioned, and of cos the Saviour of all who has given him the strength to do so.
While listening to the Pastor, I was trying to imagine myself in that situation, how ready would I be? Unless I have lived my whole life with no regrets, I could never be as ready to face death. EVEN IF I have lived my life with no regrets, would I have the capability to accept the fact that I have to leave that young? For now, I just know that no matter how comforting those words would be to my loved ones, I would not have the strength to say, not just yet. It takes a lot, really a whole lot, or so I thought.
If you were to live life from the end, and make plans knowing your ending, that's all it takes, isnt it? And that goes in line with the quote of the Austrian psychiatrist as well as a Halocaust survivor, Victor Frankl.
All right, enough of funerals, deaths and whatnots. I shall end it here :)
To sidetrack a little, we had a small pyjamas stayover party at zee's house last night, and I went to send Amos off this morning. He'll be back in 6months' time. I think I might miss his nonsense a little :) A new beginning to my last sem, looking forward to it. :)
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| Thank God |
[13 Jan 2010|05:01am] |
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I'm determined. And thank God from sparing me away with the dilemma. :) Posted via LiveJournal.app.
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[05 Jan 2010|09:28pm] |
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I swear I havent been losing my cool in a while. Don't push it.
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| Praise The Lord |
[30 Dec 2009|03:28am] |
Seriously before I start anything, I am really really thankful. As you all should know, NTU has released their results just a few hours ago.
No, I did not do well for it. In fact, I got a big fat D for one of my core. But I wanna thank God for that. I did not ask for As, neither did I ask for even Bs, I just prayed that I could at least help by saving a year's worth of school fees, and He granted me. How did it happen? Miracles :) As I have mentioned, this core of mine, I handed in a paper as good as blank, in my heart I knew it was a goner. It has to be one. But miraculously, I passed. Though barely made it, but I did. Bell curve, many would say, but for me, it's time to PTL :)
Pure happiness. It's just so easy :)
Today was a day full of meaning. It's a meaningful day :) I've always wanted to do something for the less fortunates, and I'm sure many of us do :) And today, it was a dream come true for me. The amount of time & money to buy and wrap the little gifts, the energy and effort to handle all the kids today, were all worth it. Every cents spent, every second, every bit of energy.
But the truth is still, the kids are very very very naughty. HAH. We had a hard time trying to handle the few of them and their misbehavior. I used to roll my eyes when I see kids behaving like that, telling myself that I would never allow my kids to be like this. But fortunately or unfortunately, after today, I guess my perspective has got to change :) Yes they can be irritating, but they can be controlled, if you know how to do it. You need to tame and nurture them, or at the very least, act your age and be more understanding, and not roll your eyes at innocent beings like them. They are just, afterall, kids, hello? Yes, I've learnt my lesson today :)
Well, for all I know, they do not have parents who can afford to pamper them with PSP or domestic helpers. They do not even have a proper family to begin with. But I felt grateful that being kids, they have the right to be ignorant. Ignorant can be a real bliss. And are still able to laugh and fight and play so happily. Deep down, I really feel very happy for them. And I want to bring greater joy to them :)
When I first stepped into the room with all the kids, I was overwhelmed by the high decibel of screamings, the running about, the what may seem impossible-to-control hands touching our props for the games, and the neverending fights among the boys. There was this "culture shock" period for me and I actually stoned for a few minutes before accepting the world that I was in. I couldnt believe it because they were simply unstoppable. Dont ever expect them to sit down and listen, cos it's almost impossible. You gotta adapt, put in a lot of effort, make them open up to you, before they can be tamed. And it's not easy. But in order to achieve something so great and meaningful in life, its never easy. And when you have successfully braved thru all odds and achieve the goal, the feelings of satisfaction is priceless.
The bonds that were formed with the kids. When the little girl first held my hand, there was this feeling which I can remember even till now, but there's just no way to describe it. And when the naughtiest kid in the bunch actually listened to me when I asked him to, I was really very very touched. Never in my life could I imagine it happening. But it did. And when the kids gradually grew closer to you and bonds formed, that is when you will see the genuinely innocent and soft sides of these little angels, though they may be carry the devil's facade acting like bullies and typical irritating kids before you. How amazing, and how beautiful was that realization? :)
I could never stopped wanting to do more for them, but I am glad that I have taken the first step today. And now, as we are being drawn nearer and nearer to 2010, I could look back and give myself a pat and say, Well done Lauren, for all the wonderful and meaningful things I have done in 2009. Things that bring joy to not only myself but the people around me. Outreaching to the unfortunates and it's an honor for me to be able to be in a part of their lives, even for just a day. So happy, just so very very happy. :)
edit: I should say, I have been granted one step closer to being able to grad in 3 years' time because whether or not it happen depends on my results next sem and internship too. But I am very very thankful that I did not fail this core and now I'm nearer to my goal :)
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| 29th Dec 2009 |
[29 Dec 2009|03:29am] |
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Joce is officially my PB and we shall celebrate this day :)
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| The 19th :) |
[19 Dec 2009|01:25pm] |
Joce will be giving her testi today yay. Can't wait and I hope that it'll inspire many people cos she was sorta one person who inspires and changes me :) for the better, I would say. If not I wouldn't have such good r/s with my bro now, I might be still jumping in and out of r/s without knowing the actual meaning of love and not knowing what I want for my future, I would still be wallowing in self pity and going after material satisfactions without realizing the insignificance of them all, if not I would still be committing what may seem to be the norm of human nature, being selfish and not being there for others genuinely when they needed people to be there, and judging everyone around me.
And no, I am still guilty of some of the above mentioned but I'm trying. And if I am answering you now, you have just judged! Haha. I wont say that I wouldnt buy a Chanel bag or wallet when I got my first paycheck or sth, but I hope I do not have to deal with struggle, like if that amount of money could have been used on greater purposes, I would gladly forgo it if not, hehe. I cant promise that I wont start talking to my friends about a girl who wore yellow boots and pajamas walking in town, but if its just for laugh and no harm intended, then well, you know. HAHA.
Last night, tk and I were talking about how bodyshop is the most convenient place to get a gift. I once bought bodyshop giftset during mother's day for my mommy for consecutive many years. Haha. But, being convenient somehow becomes too shuibian, nv put in effort blah blah blah.
Then I was posed a qn, If a close friend of mine were to give me a Christmas present from bodyshop, would I be okay? Would my mentality be, it's still a gift, or har? bodyshop, so bo sim.
And of cos, my ans to it is, I'll still appreciate and be thankful that I got a gift from him/her. :)
why should he/she be judged for giving you a gift when there are so many others out who didn't. The gift is not the main point here, can you see how unfair it is to judge that poor soul who actually took effort to buy a gift. Maybe he/she is just bad at gift ideas? But more often than not, we only look at the small negative picture rather than the wholesome one. Heh. Of cos, I was guilty of it too :)
and this applies to our everyday life. We should always look at the bigger picture which involves being thankful and forgiving. Your life would be a much better one if you include these 2 elements in it. It works wonder for me :) I'm not a saint yet, but I'm still learning and I know there're still much more :)
Okay gotta wash up and prepare to go church for pract. And guess what? The heavy rain has became so much lighter while i was blogging this and now I could make my way out easier. Should I not be thankful for that? :DPosted via LiveJournal.app.
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| Eventful :) |
[17 Dec 2009|03:19am] |
Okay before I start, just wanna share this:
HAHAHAHA yes that was me trying to learn "Officially Missing You" (tabs from ultimate-guitar.com) yesterday.
Picked up guitar just around 3 weeks ago and I have been practicing and since the first few chords have been rather repetitive, I think I kinda nail the first part.
And the funniest thing was, I always play better when I sing along with it. My intro was not as good as the one with the lyrics. Maybe it's how my body reacts, they are in sync with each other and thus yea. Yay guitar is quite fun and I'm thankful that I learn it on my own. My bro said that guitar is one of the easiest instrument to master ever, well, I guess it depends on individual as well. But I think it's quite okay for me, unlike flute. Flute makes me breathless and gives me headache. HAHA. I think flute needs more proper warm up and practice. Yea.
I have burnt arms now and I look funny in sleeveless top cos it is very obvious. Woke up early in the morn to go ECP for fellowship with the tuffers. Cycled from 12-3pm then headed to Parkway Parade for KFC. PP looks so different now in a good way :) We also discussed about of trip to Berkelah Waterfall in Malaysia. Hope things turn out well and whoohoo! I've never been to a places with waterfall before, it's gonna be my first time. We are going to trek up the hill where the waterfall is, bath and play there, then descent to sleep in some hut place (apparently its just some shelter like those you see in Pasir Ris Park or ECP) for one night. Maybe go for seafood in KL before heading back to Singapore. Sounds good enough for me I guess :)
After that Jo and I went to Tec Man (Jo kept saying Tee Man initially. Very funny!) at Bras Basah to get a few books. We spent quite some time there browsing thru books. I wanted to buy some books for myself and my bro, and also tk, since they are having a rough time in their lives now. But I realised most of the books are hmm, you know, if you cant read with an open mind, you might find them to be too religious or sth. So I've decided to drop that idea. When the time comes, eventually I'll be able to get them something helpful :) Anyway, I bought a few books for myself and I am very excited about it. We ended our day having dinner at our usual Miss Clarity with Garlic Crusted Dory and a little window grocery shopping at Bugis in order to generate some ideas for tuffers Christmas pot luck party on 22nd Dec.
Christmas is coming!!!! :) Meeting Jan&Steph this sunday for our long awaited dress-up-orchard-christmas. And many many more events coming up nice. Feeling so grateful for everything once again. It has all been well-planned. :)
Course registration in 6hrs time. Gonna catch a nap now.
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